Somehow along the road my neurons inter-synapsed so that I clumped sub-consciously all these feelings, these emotions into one. Feeling one inevitably lead to the other and that all of them were interwoven.
But now, time has forced me to wonder, am I believing in “make believe”?
Are all these words I mentioned above just written off together by chance or is the link between them true? A fact or a farce?
I have been chewing on this question for quite some time now, but the answers mostly confused me more.
I asked around then, from friends and family, and mostly the scenario was the same. They would come to me light hearted, and walk off musing over the question themselves.
This week though, I had what I believe people call an “epiphany” ( or at least what I believe an epiphany would be like).
A cycle of events occurred and I finally realized my question has no answer. Or maybe, because there are many versions to this particular fact, there are too many ways to answer this query. And every story has a different version.
For those who find their true love and stick with them till the end, their wedding would always remind them of their present joy, their present warmth, clouding any fear or anxiety they had felt that day. Making the problems stand out as loveable memories and the hindrances sound like good tea-time stories.
For those who have weaved every dream around it, it will forever stand to be the most important event to them.
And for those unlucky ones whose wedding day was perfect, but whose hearts weren’t for each other, the huge event would rest in their memories clouded by the pain, the dissatisfaction and the disappointment of the following days.
There would even be those who wouldn’t care to revisit that past, just because their present is too beautiful to be soiled by such memories.
No matter what category of people you had end to be in, your feelings for weddings would stem from your personal experiences, your own dreams and wishes, insecurities and dreads and, above all, from how they affected your life.
So maybe for now, I had let my brain clump all these beautiful feelings together so that I feel a warm rush whenever I attend a pretty wedding and watch the bride make that walk down the aisle. I will let my heart beat accelerate at the thought off the upcoming dances and the after parties, and relish the thought of being vain and spending without rationality on my wardrobe.
I will prepare myself for the pampering. And enjoy it all till it lasts.
And I will thank god for one little fact-weddings have never been the highlight of my life, and yet been bright spots in it.
Cheers, to any bride who is reading this. Kudos to any bride-to-be who has time to read this. May you and your grooms get to have your love outlive you two.