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Coming home

6 Mar

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She sat under the same old tree,
The branches of it barely sheltering her,
She still smiles but looks melancholy,
Wearing the same shirt, of that deep blue sea.
I walk up to her, as I do every week,
Then walk right past without a word,
She glances at me, she doesn’t speak,
But her dimmed eyes say it all.
There is pain, a loss of will,
And past her most frequent visitor,
Hope is not ready to come back till,
She is ready for the world.
I walk away, not turning back,
Tomorrow maybe I will say something,
Today though the courage I lack,
To comfort her, to convince myself.
In the distance, my abode seems to lure,
The hunger in me, my soul is ready for it,
But the evening out, so fresh so pure,
I am not ready for home, I am not ready to go.

Counting my way to the next sunrise

15 Feb

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Some days start,
their end comes so smoothly,

Like the blink of an eye,
a smile on a sunny day,

Some mornings they begin,
you count till it is dark,

The lights dim out,
the way they have inside you,

and the seconds are years,
never ending, yet instantaneous when they end.

6 things I didn’t know about having a dog

24 Jan

I always knew I was a dog person, you know in those “dog vs cat” arguements. I had never any doubt that once I could, the only pet I would want would be a dog.

However, it wasn’t till I got my little baby when I realised how much I could love her. And what I’d been missing out on my life till she came into it. Maybe it’s premature to say this, but I still will- I’ve no idea how I lived two decades of my life without giving more thought to adopting a pup.

Here are however the six discoveries that shocked me the most after adopting Snow.

1. I hate calling her a “dog”. We don’t call all of us just “humans” do we? And my Snow isn’t just another dog, she is one in a million, a combination of all that is warm and lovable. With the most intelligent eyes and the most precious cuddles, her little idiosyncrasies and cute tricks make her different from every other dog out there, then why call her that? Disagree? Maybe you would have to know her to get what I mean, but don’t mind it if I take it personally when you ask me “how is your dog”, because she is far more than that. Ok? Ok. She is Snow, respect us enough to call her by her name

2. You learn to love like never before. I’ve tapped into a part of my heart that I didn’t event know  existed. And undoubtedly, Snow owns the whole of it. Her worry keeps me restless if she isn’t well, her crying makes me nervous till we have been able to calm her, her ease is my only aim, her gleaming eyes and little whines have me ready to do everything and anything. My lap is where I love seeing her, her licks and cuddles are what I look forward to when going home. In a short time she has taught me to love her beyond a level I thought I could ever love anyone. And somehow everyday our bond grows stronger, as she teaches me how to love her more.

3. It isn’t as hard as people make it out to be. Maybe the love makes it easier. Or maybe Snow’s intelligence does. But she has been the easiest little addition to our small family and her small chores are more fun than burdensome. If any extra effort I’ve had to put in, she has made it all worth it. Because the best part here, she love me right back and I know her love will never fail me.

4. You will know your vet better than your doctor. More so if you are anything like me and are rushing her off to him for the smallest worries. Within two weeks I’ve gone to him more than I’ve to any doctor of mine. But if it wasn’t for the kind man, I would have been a huge ball of worries by now. He always knows how to say the right things to both me and Snow and we always leave his office with a lighter step.

5. They are like little babies. At least Snow is. If I don’t give her the right attention she gets mad at me and turns away. When I take her into my lap she cuddles with me to no end. She cries when hungry, sleeps like there is no tomorrow and plays tirelessly the rest of the time. Her fragility is that of any child’s both in disposition and in her body, and I’ve the urge to sometimes get her a baby-cot to complete the image she puts in my head. I can’t really explain the exact reasons, but if you own a puppy you will get this. They are like little babies and flourish under your touch if you treat them as such.

6. The thought of them not being with you in the future is-not one you want to have. Ever. But what if you do have to part with the little love? My mom asked me this the other day, after a gentle reminder that I wasn’t going to be living here for long. But I don’t want to imagine what it will be like if I have to leave her behind. I don’t want to. I wasn’t prepared to fall for her like this but now that I have I can’t unfeel any of it. So my only answer to the possible question is to ignore it and hope I don’t have to answer it. Ever.

Do you guys love your pups like they were family, did it all come to you naturally too? I would love to hear your thoughts, but more aNY advice here is more than welcome.

Till next time,

Bye!

p.s. I have been forced to write less in these past days because of Snow and an upcoming wedding which might keep me away for a few more weeks, but I will try to not go missing for months this time ! 😛

 

How to fight your Monday Blues

9 Jan

Mondays are torture to head into after any weekend, but when they mark the end of our favorite holidays, they get that much more difficult to face.  Still, through eighteen years of facing the same blues every week, I’ve revised four tricks to face Mondays with a more positive vibe and be able to stay strong despite its blues.

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1. Plan a smashing outfit:-

What makes holidays fun for me are the chance to get all done up and head out to party. What makes me look forward to decking out is an outfit that just pulls at my heart-strings. Isn’t that why we all go crazy for the perfect NYE/thanksgiving outfit? So for Mondays that seem extra hard to head back into, I put together an extra special outfit for them. And the idea of getting into something that would make me look good or feel sexy, it immediately makes the threatening Monday blues seem less daunting.

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2. Buy a pick you up:-

It’s something like a gift, but not really. A coffee from your favorite place before heading to work, a sweet treat ordered for your lunch, a framed photo from a recent party to put at your table. Something to make you smile and warm away the chills Monday is trying to send up your spine will inevitably make it easier to get through.

3. Plan a lunch:-

This is one thing I do every single time. And I’m thankful for a girl friend who lets me pull this off. Whenever any Monday sounds like too much for me, I schedule a meet up for the lunch with a good friend. The idea of meeting a best friend that day, to get to be myself with them and unwind my tight self during that hour, it just makes me fit enough to face anything and everything. Going into Mondays suddenly sounds like no job at all when my planner highlights a meet up with someone I love being with.

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Eat smart

 

4. Don’t start your diet on Mondays:-

Or gym. Or yoga. Or anything that sounds too much effort or is last on your list of favorites. It associates a negative energy with Monday psychologically making you hate it more without realizing why. I can never even get why starting something midweek can’t be just as successful as beginning it on a Monday, in fact it makes the day always much less daunting and much less easier for you to step into..

So there you go, my four little fail safe tricks to help make my Mondays easier. Do you have any that help you get through your first day of the week? I would love to hear your tips if you have any.

Till next time,
Gull.

The year that was.

1 Jan
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Plans for 2017

I had planned to write down, in what I was sure would be a very long list, all that I had lost in 2016, all that I had suffered.

I’d planned to write it out before 2017 began and to then cut off my ties with it all.

But when I finally got down to the writing, I could not help but concentrate on the positives. Finding good in things that had seemed unbearable when I was living through them, finally coming to a point where I could embrace all the memories, even those marred by various factors, just by separating the negative from them and focusing on the good they had brought to me.

It is true indeed that when we look at our past we do so through a rosy filter, where everything feels prettier than it really was.

But this was different because one little realization changed my perspective on all that had happened to me in the year that was; I was being thankless for the wonderful things I had achieved and experienced this year because I was too busy concentrating on the little inconsequential things that no more deserved my worrying..

I got so much of what I had been praying for. Internships abroad, travelling on my own, living alone oceans away from my family and making the most out of it, surviving without needing any crutches with my loved ones in different time zones, making new friends, holding on tighter to older ones and getting rid of those who were bringing only negativity in my life. I got through into my final year of med-school, I made huge progress on the book I am writing, I sketched more, I partook in surgeries and I got a chance to work with amazing surgeons. And with all of that, I lived to make my moral code stronger.

Above all, though, I feel in the past few years I’d begun to lose touch with who I was and what I wanted to be. My goals had become blurred and I’d begun to lose the rational part of myself to the emotional one. And to sit here today, seeing everything so clearly-my goals, myself and where I want to go-I am thankful to whatever forces in the world were the cause that I found my way back to myself. I fear if I hadn’t now, I would always have been lost and hence the dissatisfaction I’d begun to think was a part of me would have been my companion for life.

2016 has taught me so many lessons, lessons that maybe came the hard way, but they are ones that I hope will make 2017 better and easier for me.

So, I bid adieu to 2016, a stronger person, with more dreams in my head but with a steadier tread.

For now though, I will go be infinitely cliché and write down that usual round of resolutions that I won’t ever get around to achieving. In the meanwhile, I would love to hear from you as to what you learned from 2016 and what your resolutions for 2017 are.

Until next time, ever yours,
Gull.

 

 

 

 

Planning the perfect NYE

30 Dec
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Celebrate it with those who love you.

I am a big fan of planning parties. God, the high I get out of planning and hosting them, I earnestly believe in another life I was an event manager. If my college routine wasn’t so demanding, I probably would still have started it as a side business.But as the latter isn’t possible, I make do by throwing parties for friends.

And NYE seemed like a perfect occasion (ahm-excuse-ahm) to host another. But as I sat there making a list of ideas, I thought of how I celebrated last NYE and although the memory put a bittersweet smile on my face I realized something.

Of all the people I had rung in the new year with last year, fifty percent don’t matter to me any more, in fact I haven’t talked to some in a long while and the others I don’t think I want to talk to ever. (Is there a way to say that without sounding like a hater?)

And that’s when epiphany of all epiphanies hit me.

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Celebrate it with those you love.

I don’t want the main events of my life to be crowded by people who will sooner or later become so insignificant that I wont even think of them in weeks or months at a stretch; but more, I don’t want any of them to be marred by the memory of people whose reminder is stressful or hurtful in any way. Or just plain disgusting (again I say this at the risk of sounding like a harsh, cold person but I am not one, honestly).

In fact, I want only those there who are and have been constants in my life, who have remained by my side year after year, accepting the best and worst in me and still loving me, supporting me. Sticking to my side and being there for me when I needed them, giving a kind word as required, pushing me to give my best.

I have nothing against fair weather…people(?)-but on milestones, on big days, on the memorable events of my life, I want those there whose memory wont be hard in any way, those who will lift me up rather than bringing me down, those who bring me flowers when I am sick and tell me to straighten my shit out (excuse the language) when I am in a rut.

So this NYE, try doing it all a little different. Reach out to the ones who really matter, more-reach out to the ones who mattered five or ten years ago and who you think will do so as many years later too. Most importantly, this NYE, reach out to the ones to whom you matter and ring in the new year with them. 

At least that is what in my head is the perfect way to celebrate NYE this year and what I am planning to do.

I want only those people around me who won’t judge me, those I can let my shields down around, the ones who make my life better by just being there, those who never fail to be there when I have turned to them.

The ones I believe at times that I am not even worthy of to have in my life (yup, I am talking about those special ones).

These are your real family. No matter if these are your childhood friends, your highschool best friends,  your cousins, your ‘bae’, your siblings-they define family. This holiday season hold on to them just that much tighter and welcome the new year with them-call them over, go to them and if they are too far off, use Skype, use Facetime-virtually or not, celebrate it all with them this year. Believe me, you won’t regret it.

Afterall, what could be better than to get to celebrate it with your ‘family’, no? Question is, are you up for it?

In the end I will only say this-happy holidays, you all.

P.S. If I don’t get to post over the weekend, cheers to everyone out there.

And a Happy New Year.

7 ways to style your checkered coats this winter

27 Dec
  1. Wear it as a dress. My rule is, if it is long enough and you can button it up, pair it with stockings and you are good to go. Honestly, give it a try. You will love it-especially thanks to the extra warmth you will get from this particular ‘dress’.

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    Wear it as a dress.

  2. Couple it with a fine mix of ‘polished’ and ‘laid back’. How? Pair it with a nice collared shirt but add some spunk via a chic sweater. For an extra dose of casual add some nice fitting boyfriend jeans. Note:-this can be an easy day to night look, exchange your flats for some heels. Add bright earrings. a red lippy and a nice clutch and you are good to go.

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    Mix and match.

  3. Twist things up by pulling it over a midi-skirt. Add a matching accessory (scarf, shoes, bag-any one of them) and you are sure to stand out. Note-try avoiding flats with midi-skirts, that is prone to make you look shorter and less pulled together.

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    Add a midi to it.

  4. Less is definitely more. And keeping it simple is the best way to go. Wear it with a sweater in a muted shade (the more over-sized it is, the better), your favorite skinnies and easy-to-walk in boots.Go with the latest style of laced up boots, again preferably in a muted tone unless you want to stand out in the crowd. Then your thigh-highs would work just as well.

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    Less is more.

  5. Not cold enough for jackets where you are? Do it like the bloggers do. Layer a light-weight sweater with a favorite shirt and let the coat act as an accessory on your shoulders. You can pull it on if the night gets too chilly but if it doesn’t, well you won’t be too warm. Personally I feel its best to wear your coat like this if you are wearing skinnies but if you are feeling bold, couple it with a mini for a hotter look.

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    Keep it simple.

  6. Add a pop of red. Nothing works better with a muted plaid, especially if it is in a shade of grey, than a little addition of something red. It can be via your bag, shoes or even your scarf, but if you keep everything else monochrome, the little bit of red will give both character and life to your outfit.

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    Pop of color

  7. Sunday chic.Going out for a Sunday brunch? Grab your comfiest boyfriend jeans, add that favorite tee from your college and pair it with a nice pair of flats, preferably ones with a boyish touch. Complete your look with your favorite plaid jacket. And go stuff up on that brunch while snapchat-ing your “weekend” look.

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    The laid back look.

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