The winter in me

20 Nov

Winter

It’s white again, It’s white again,
The color over my lawn, all over my window pane.
The green is there somewhere down below,
But I am not ready yet for the rivers to flow.
I am grey inside, just like the sky,
I look out and smile, at least I try.
There are no more morning birds singing,
No more teens looking for love in every fling.
The colors of the flowers I can’t see now,
It’s an image I can easily forget somehow.
Oh I am not sad, it’s not pain.
In fact I am glad, it’s white again.
So cold, that everything is numb outside,
Maybe I won’t feel any need to hide,
Because if I go now I won’t stand out,
I will hide in the blues my self doubt,
The blankets of the winter, the cold winter,
They will keep me warm, keep me from getting bitter,
It’s my chance to survive in the cold,
Or I will never be me again, never be bold.
The colors of spring scare me, they are bright you see,
But this winter white was meant for me, for me.
I can hide, for a winter or for two
Then maybe I will be ready to face you,
Or maybe in the time I wait,
It might just get a little late.
Then I can sleep the night out there,
And maybe just lay a minute, bare.
The white in me will match the white sea,
And, yes, I will be part of something finally.
So don’t cry if you feel like this is good bye,
Though I don’t say I will be back, I can’t try.
But know that if I am not gone,
The winter inside me will be reborn.
But let me go,
And I will let you know
That I will be at peace at last.
Oh, dear, Winter is here at last!

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