” I planed to be sophisticated and elegant. A total lady, I suppose. But then they turned the music up. It’s not my fault that my favorite song was on.”
I read this quote somewhere in my fifth or sixth grade, and have loved it since then. But it took me a little time to realize that the “lady” wasn’t just talking about dancing like she had forgotten herself, what she meant was that all her inhibitions disappeared as soon as she found her own tune-her own calling.
And I feel she was a genius to know so well where her heart lay and followed it with passion without giving a damn about the world.
Which brings me to what my dad always says,
” the world will never be completely satisfied with you. You can either try to make them happy, or live.”
I for one have always chosen to live, sometimes even when I probably just should have not.
More like, when I should have slept in late at home and avoided the opportunity to make a fool out of myself.
But come to think of it, even those misconceived or badly handled ideas that ran a “little” awry for me, in hindsight, I am glad for. Not only because they add breadth to my life but make it colorful, bright, interesting.
Though sometimes all that I do and say, I can see, forces these wheels start to churn in people’s minds with the “she is weird” expression barely masked on their faces.
I get it. I have done pretty “out of the norm” stuff.
Starting a blog on fashion not being the worst of them although I believe in my city most people gave me the stink eye for at least a month for stepping out of the box.
Those who don’t find me creepy anymore are those who have their own blogs now, or already did at that time.
But I can’t blame them. I was one of the first few people from here to start a blog.
And that too on fashion. ( The atrocity, what was I thinking!)
And then I started offering my styling services.
The criminal that I was!
I could see people putting quarantine tags around me mentally, and though it haunted me when I saw the calculatedly judgmental looks in some of their well known faces, I shrugged it off and helped them dislike me more.
By joining hands with my sister in her dress designing business.
And although the last one I have had to put on hold due to all else I have got going on, it doesn’t matter because now I am officially the “unknown”.
The alien, I suppose. ( Hello, earthlings!)
And if yesterday you had asked me if all this bothered me I would have said yes.
But today, it doesn’t. Maybe I am having my own “Lindsay Lohan stint”. Or maybe because I see how temporary everything is. Including my life.
And I can’t spend it worrying over who would think what of me when I did something.
Instead, I choose the “‘infinite’ lightness of being.”
So, let’s raise our proverbial glasses or cups or even saucers (I suppose) and toast to being ourselves from now on, through and through.
Even if that someone is too complicated for people around us to get.
Maybe one day they will.
Hence, what the heck, let’s toast to that day too.
Gull a.k.a. Lindsay Lohan