What a year it has been.
Pretension. Deception. Trust. Success. Failure. Love. Hatred. Disappointment.
That’s just the surface of the sea that I have crossed this year, just a glance of what my experiences this year appear to have been which I watch now as I stand at the door of the next.
It’s not 2014 yet, and I am glad, for I need to spend today to get closure on the past year, to bid goodbye to it, and to be ready for the next year. Above all, I need to prepare to change my habit of writing 2013 in the dates on my assignment.
I need to feel 2014, before I can welcome it.
But it’s not as easy as changing the date on a piece of paper.
It’s much much more heavy, more morbid, more complicated-to say the least.
I have lost another year in this world, moved a step closer to my death and have ended with yet another list of all my failures. Of all that I wanted and couldn’t get. Of all that I planned but which went awry.
Guaranteed the failures came hand in hand in success, but at such milestones in life you prefer knowing how many of your dreams, wishes, plans took the shape you wanted rather then glancing at the victories that seem too scripted-written by a bigger hand in the book of your fate.
But fate, time, faith-aren’t these three words that have eluded one and all from the beginning of mankind?
Deep questions to ponder over. But I don’t have time nor the constitution for that right now.
I am more in the mood of reminiscing. Of casting a look at how 2014 could be better, how I could be more prepared for the curveballs life keeps throwing at me?
Let’s start with the big moments of this year.
1. Some events occurred that finally assured me that nothing in this world is what it seems to be. Appearances, they come as false and colorful as you may and never can you guess what to believe in and what not to. Funny, though, that it took me forever to understand that there was no exception to that fact and that being cynical was my last weapon for unfortunately a lack the art of being two faced has always been my cross to bear.
2. I left my teens, saying goodbye to that sweet dream of being a millionaire teenager who wowed the socks off with how great I was. Great and awe inspiring in what, I never really figured out, but I bury the longing with the bittersweet emotion of a more mature tween realizing that I wasn’t one of the people Shakespeare was referring to when he talked about people “born with greatness” though I pray I might have some “greatness thrust upon me”.
3. Trust no one. So many incidences of this year proved this again and again. No one is worth baring your soul to. At some point in life you will fail to see eye to eye and the chances that your hour long heart-to-hearts will come back to bite you in your ass. Hard.
4. No couple lasts forever. Happily ever after is a farce. When the one last couple I had believed would defy all statistics and let their love win the day blew up into a billion pieces leaving too many casualties behind, I knew for sure what to believe in. No matter the depth of love at the start of the relationship and no matter the level of understanding at the end, there was no forever. It will end, you will be left by yourself and the best I could extract from it is one fact. Love is overrated. Shower your other relationships with the same worship and care and you will be far more successful then before. And your heart that much less damaged.
5. Luck is a fickle *itch. You work so hard and with such passion that success seems to be at your finger tips-you can almost feel it’s warmth surge through you-but then a blink and it’s all gone leaving you behind disappointed in yourself and the world.
6. My Instagram and Facebook pages of my blog turned out to be more successful then I anticipated, and there is nothing more heart warming them respect in what you love. Nothing more amazing then being turned to for advice in matters you have researched and worked on so hard to decipher.
7. With family, you can face any obstacle and come out with less scars and stronger bonds. Plus, you get to pull each other’s leg on the way without any hard feelings.
8. I found my niche both in my professional and personal life. Friends, that I feel get me more then anyone before. And our mutual relationship has blossomed into a wondrously beautiful and exotic garden filled with huge daily dozes of surprises and excitement.
It’s been a hard year. But friends, family and a “glass is completely full it just appears empty” attitude have let me pull through. The upcoming days offer nothing better. In fact, they frighten with an increase in both emotional and otherwise hardships but I enter it with hopes that it won’t kill me, and I will come out stronger.
However, top on my unofficial list of New year’s resolution is to find more time for family, to forge stronger bonds with my already amazingly loved sister and to value my friendship with my brothers.
Here though are a few other plans that I hope work towards a better me because a polished wholesome personality is what I crave for. And, call me crazy, but a more honest world is what I aim for.
1. Give more. Expect less.
2. Work intelligently, work hard, work sane.
3. Don’t wait. Just do it.
4. Write more. Give a damn about what others say, unless they appreciate your art.
5. Be more spontaneous. Don’t just crave adventure, keep showing up at all it’s parties.
6. I know myself, I can be the best judge of all things linked to me and the best decision maker.
It’s time, to say goodbye. I learned a lot this year. I lost a lot. I gained a lot, the most prized of which was experience. And my blog. People tell me often I waste my time and energies here. I pity those people for they would never feel the rush of writing and sharing their thoughts with the world. And finding people who like what I write. It might have been a year on paper, but I feel like I have lived an eon within it. While I pray that 2014 is filled with less turmoil I hope it has even more activity and a lot more memorable experiences.
Now before I head off to deck out in my new clothes for a more joyous and shallow asta-lavista , I say goodbye to the 2013 you.
Happy new year. May you find your love at 12 today.
Love. Until next time!