I had planned to write down, in what I was sure would be a very long list, all that I had lost in 2016, all that I had suffered.
I’d planned to write it out before 2017 began and to then cut off my ties with it all.
But when I finally got down to the writing, I could not help but concentrate on the positives. Finding good in things that had seemed unbearable when I was living through them, finally coming to a point where I could embrace all the memories, even those marred by various factors, just by separating the negative from them and focusing on the good they had brought to me.
It is true indeed that when we look at our past we do so through a rosy filter, where everything feels prettier than it really was.
But this was different because one little realization changed my perspective on all that had happened to me in the year that was; I was being thankless for the wonderful things I had achieved and experienced this year because I was too busy concentrating on the little inconsequential things that no more deserved my worrying..
I got so much of what I had been praying for. Internships abroad, travelling on my own, living alone oceans away from my family and making the most out of it, surviving without needing any crutches with my loved ones in different time zones, making new friends, holding on tighter to older ones and getting rid of those who were bringing only negativity in my life. I got through into my final year of med-school, I made huge progress on the book I am writing, I sketched more, I partook in surgeries and I got a chance to work with amazing surgeons. And with all of that, I lived to make my moral code stronger.
Above all, though, I feel in the past few years I’d begun to lose touch with who I was and what I wanted to be. My goals had become blurred and I’d begun to lose the rational part of myself to the emotional one. And to sit here today, seeing everything so clearly-my goals, myself and where I want to go-I am thankful to whatever forces in the world were the cause that I found my way back to myself. I fear if I hadn’t now, I would always have been lost and hence the dissatisfaction I’d begun to think was a part of me would have been my companion for life.
2016 has taught me so many lessons, lessons that maybe came the hard way, but they are ones that I hope will make 2017 better and easier for me.
So, I bid adieu to 2016, a stronger person, with more dreams in my head but with a steadier tread.
For now though, I will go be infinitely cliché and write down that usual round of resolutions that I won’t ever get around to achieving. In the meanwhile, I would love to hear from you as to what you learned from 2016 and what your resolutions for 2017 are.
Until next time, ever yours,