Learning to forgive 

31 May

2016-06-14 031

Forgive, even though, the chances of an apology, seem more distant than the stars.

This quote has been my mantra for some time now, but it is only recently that I understood its true importance.

If you think that you have been wronged-if you truly and honestly believe that you have been-the chances are that the truth is evident to the other side too.
But, the chances that they want to see it as clearly are slim, the chances that you will get an apology from the other side, or the universe, for all you have been put through-slimmer.

If you then continue to live in the status-quo, waiting for an apology that might never come, you aren’t just prolonging your own pain and adding to your agonies, waiting for a boat which most probably went down like the Titanic, ages ago, on a shore riddled with quick sand.  You are also letting yourself stay stuck at one point, a point that you need to leave for your own benefit, your own growth, for you are holding on to something which has to be let go if you want to be able to hold on to something better!

However, here is the real game changer. Even if you get the apology, or when you do, it will not bring you any satisfaction. Remember that old analogy? Where the broken glass when put together still bears all the scars-in this case the apology doesn’t even act as a glue putting the glass together-it acts like a cheap store brought tape with which you are trying to fix a delicate crystal figurine. You can imagine the mess you are making out of it.

And it makes sense too. How indeed can a pain that brings tears to your eyes, a heartache that steals your sleep, a betrayal that scorches your soul-how indeed can a simple ‘I am sorry’ atone for all these crimes that have been done against your soul?

Will the sorry let you believe in love again? Will it let you trust a friend again? Will it fix the scars that still bleed? Will it take away the pain of being lied to?

It won’t, not on its own, not without more effort from either one or both of you, but mostly not without a lot of effort from you because at the end you yourself will have to take the steps to your own full and complete healing! For here is a universal truth you need to realize-no one cares for you nor loves you more than you can yourself.

It is hence on you to go out and find a ‘super glue’ good enough for your figurine. It is your job to spend days, rather than a hasty hour, in putting it back together-and once you put every effort into that, you will see the results in the form of a figurine almost as beautiful as before, but better due to the hints of the scars that she wears as proudly as war wounds, And as reminders that though you are fragile, but you made it out in one piece.

And that end result will be both rewarding and liberating, letting you move on in a way that a half-felt apology never would! Letting you live a little freer while at the same time helping you break away from the grasps of relationships that are more hurtful rather than not, freeing you from the need of apologies that will give you nothing. Bringing you a satisfaction that will last you much longer than what an empty “sorry” will ever get for you!

In short, it is time you stopped waiting for an apology that will fix nothing. Rather offer the forgiveness no one is asking for, because that alone will cut you loose-and what would be better than to be free again?

To forgive is to forget, so forgive and forget and begin your journey forward!


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