OH MY GOD.
Let me just-OH MY GOD.
I am finally doing it. I can finally let my thoughts shape into words as I write them on the proverbial paper. And to say that it feels good is an understatement.
I said to my family I felt dead, empty before-during my exams-but I felt myself and a semblance of life returning when they ended. But, it is only now I realize what I had been missing on.
Only now I realize that it is at this moment that I have begun to live again. Breathe again.
Writing. That is what defines me. And three months without it had left my as thirsty for the urge to let my imagination flow on to paper as a man lost in a hot dessert would be.
But my thirst has been quenched, my imagination rejuvenated and my soul has returned.
I am me again.
Yes, that sounded oh so theatrical and maybe I am being a wee bit (or even more) dramatic. But the fact of the matter is that the core of what I said is true. I always knew writing was an important part of me. But the calming relief surging through me right now lets me know how big of a part that is.
You ask yourself now, that if it was all so important, them why had she refrained from it for so long? I would like to say it was a self imposed hiatus, but it was not. It was a necessity not an option to stay away from any and all distractions-no matter how I loved them-for something even more important was at stake. My end of the year exams. And believe me, for a student who just likes sailing through studies with much partying and just enough grades to pass, it came as a shock that even people like me who studied to their minimum, had to withdraw from much else in her life for medical.
So, yes, it is the absolute truth when they say that if you hold anything more dear to yourself then your studies, do not chose medicine as your career. It leaves minimum space for anything else in your life. Even for kids like me.
My break from everything that spells “life” to me was barely that of two months. The ‘better’ students have been living on Jupiter since day one. With the hundred billion books and the stifling air as their best buds. And irregular sleeping patterns as the most exciting things in their lives.
Yes, I am rambling. And partly whining. So, I will just say this. Boy am I glad the torture (read: exams) are over. I just shudder at the though of how those kids survive. And just hope that despite the late realization that it was time to study, I did good enough to pass. Pathetic. I know. But enough about studies. I have had plentiful of that thank you.
Let’s talk about other stuff. Stuff that I have missed out on. Like Miley’s notorious videos and Prince George’s amazing christening ceremony (told you I was out of touch with life). But I am back, and at the best possible time too. For this weather, its my absolute favorite, with the promise of winter in the soothing air of autumn and all my favorite holidays heading my way. Add to that a free excuse to overindulge in coffee and chocolate and lounge like a vegetable in a warm comforter all day. Mhmm. This is life.
I would love to talk fashion. How I see curves are back and shear is still the ‘in thing’. I would love to tell you how amazing my birthday party went, how wonderfully my novel is coming along and how much I love the Nikon that I gifted myself.
However, not only does all that sound a little narcissist, but I am also at this very moment doing another thing I love like crazies.
So, I will just rush to the oven for I can hear the timer go off and leave you with the promise that I am going to eat your heads off with my blabbering. Figuratively.
Maybe literally too.
But before I rush off, I will answer that question above. Where have the days gone to? They were stolen away from me while I wasn’t looking, for my attention had been captured by my eluding books.
Love you all.
Now and always.
p.s. I can actually smell autumn in the breeze coming through my window. How amazing is that? Happy belated Halloween (boy have I got stories on that too)!!